Looking back, I can see that I am more naturally empathetic than I am resilient.  I cringe when I think about the way I reacted to crises in the early part of my career.  In my first year of practice, I became so distraught on hearing of a client’s tragedy that I was unable to answer her very basic cry for help with her bank accounts and had to pass her over to a colleague.

Fortunately I have learnt resilience through repeatedly dealing with tragedy every day of my career for the past 21 years.  Apart from the heartbreaking stories of struggles great and small from my clients, I have had my fair share of personal hardships over that time.  We all do after all.  Through constant practice, I have learned how to harness my empathy into practical help.

There are so many psychologists – of both the clinical and “pop” variety – who will explain strategies for building resilience.

My own preferred technique is to constantly remind myself of the things I do which bring me joy or comfort.  It is difficult to remember what they are in times of stress so I try to keep reminders around me all the time.  Obviously the list will be different for everyone but this is mine:-

  1. Walking under a leafy canopy;
  2. Lying on the grass and looking for cloud shapes with kids;
  3. Making something from nothing (upcycling is like magic);
  4. The smell of bread baking;
  5. Messing around in boats (Ratty in Wind in the Willows nailed that – any kind of boat is good for me);
  6. Cycling a secluded path;
  7. Dancing like no one is watching;
  8. Catching up with old friends;
  9. Getting lost in a good book;
  10. Listening to beautiful music.  For my husband it is opera but for me it is almost anything if it fits my mood at the time.

So here’s my challenge for you – make your list and keep it around you all the time either as a list or in photos or other reminders.  Then let me know, next time you are stressed, if it helps.