At this time of year, many of us have an embarrassment of riches – we are coordinating family celebrations so that we can see everyone, making sure we don’t over-indulge and rushing with our last minute Christmas shopping.
Then there is the counter-cultural movement which is trying to remind us that there are many people who do it tough at Christmas. There are people who are suffering financial stress. Some people get very lonely if they don’t have family or family is far away. It is absolutely important that we remember this and reach out to anyone who is alone at Christmas.
However, there is another more prevalent issue that seems to cause stress at Christmas. We can become so fixated on the way we have always done Christmas so that if any unforeseen circumstances mean that we have to look at a new way of doing things, it can seem like a loss.
I was teasing my husband yesterday about our first Christmas together. I suggested that we spend Christmas Eve with my parents, Christmas lunch with my Grandmother and then Christmas dinner and Boxing Day with his family. He became almost panic stricken at the suggestion saying “no there is no dinner at my family’s house there is only lunch”. Incidentally, his family saw no problem with my suggestion and pointed out that everyone would still be there so what difference would it make.
Upon reflection though, his attitude is not that uncommon.
Many of our clients have had to cancel travel plans because of their injuries. This is always disappointing but it can be particularly hard at Christmas if they were travelling to see family. However, it is amazing how often when I ask if the family cannot travel to see them because of age or infirmity the answer is usually some variation of “oh no we always have Christmas at their house”.
Seven years ago, we had a disrupted Christmas/New Year with a newborn. Our extended family broke with tradition and came to us. Heavy rain (which led to the devastating Brisbane floods in the New Year) made travel difficult and my parents decided to cancel their Christmas Day plans. They were alone but they took it in their stride – after all, they still saw everyone when the weather improved.
Family traditions can be fun but slavishly following them when they are not working for you does not make sense.
Enjoy the silly season anyway you like.
