People who know me well know that I have always been an incurable romantic.  Despite an ongoing internal battle between my rational legal mind and my dreamy heart – I still see the world through rose coloured glasses.

It has been almost 20 years since I married my childhood sweetheart – yes I was pretty much a child bride.  I have loved living with my dear sweet husband.  As I keep telling him, it is a testament to his level of awesomeness that my only consistent complaint has been that I don’t see him enough with his long working hours.

Recently I heard an interview with a relationships therapist called Esther Perel.  She has written a number of books comparing attitudes to relationships in different cultures.  What I thought was interesting was the way in which she extended the African proverb that it takes a village to raise a child to all of us.

This really resonated with my experience of the impact of stress, particularly after accidents, on relationships.

In our culture, we expect so much of our romantic partners.  After an accident, most people expect and usually need their partners to step into the role of carers, social workers, financial supporters, comforters and constant companions.  The stress can be enormous and many partners of my clients have felt a need to preface their complaints with “I know it is worse for him/her”.  I always say “that may well be right but that does not change the fact that you are under stress and need support as well.”

In reality, we all need more than two.  It takes colleagues, friends, extended family, neighbours and professionals to meet our emotional and physical needs.  This is true throughout our lives but particularly in times of stress.

Renee and I strongly support the initiative of WorkCover Queensland to assist injured workers in returning to work.  While returning to work is not always possible, when it is possible it can allow our clients to develop or re-establish former support networks.  This is crucial for their recovery physically and emotionally.

It really does take a village.