I had the best International Women’s Day ever yesterday.

It started with The Great Debate which was an event held simultaneously in a number of capital and regional cities.  Hilarious speakers argued whether or not “The Future is Female”.  The affirmative won but it was all in good fun and no one was taking it too seriously.  Then I had the great pleasure of seeing Mamamia Outloud Live at the Old Museum which was also side splittingly funny.

International Women’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate all of the women who have made our lives today possible.  I am always grateful for the women who came before me and made it possible for me to have a career I love.  I love working as an advocate and standing up for others.  In the past, I would not have been entitled to go to University, to get a degree or to be admitted as a solicitor.  Even once those basic walls were lifted, it is difficult to advocate for the rights of others if you are constantly having to defend yourself and your own right to be heard.

It is also important that we remember the women who do not have my advantages – girls are still less likely world-wide to get an education, the gender pay gap is very real and women continue to be victims of alarmingly high levels of violence.

Notwithstanding these noble goals, the Day is not without its detractors.  It came up multiple times yesterday that there is no International Men’s Day.  Repeatedly the response was some variation of “every day is International Men’s Day”.

I do not agree.  There are issues facing men which need to be addressed and it would be helpful if men had a day to discuss those issues and celebrate the victories they have won such as equality in access to parental leave.  I do not pretend to know what all of the issues facing men are but I do know about the ones that I come across regularly in my work as a personal injuries lawyer.

My experience has been that men seem to take loss of their ability to work or a diminution of their earnings far more personally than women.  I am haunted by a suicide note from a man who said that he had no value to his family anymore since he could not provide for them financially.  For every story I have heard of men who refuse to pay child support, I have heard many more of my clients complain that their inability to work after an injury has deprived their children of child support.  I have seen men work beyond what is medically advisable in a desperate effort not to have their children leave their private schools for fear of disrupting their education.

I always say to these men that their value to family is not in their ability to provide for them financially.  Their value is in their very existence.  I expect my words are usually disregarded – who wants to listen to their lawyer when she is trying to argue against entrenched societal expectations.

International Women’s Day was, for me at least, a reminder that life is easier if we conform to societal norms.  It is not easier for men who do not want to or cannot conform to those norms.