This weeks tragic passing of young Dolly has brought to the forefront, yet again unfortunately, the potentially very serious implications of cyberbullying.
As the parent of a teenager and soon to be tweenie, the power of the digital world on children rocks me to the core. Technology today is awe inspiring in its rate of advancement and the wonderful world it has created. Yet the use of this technology for unsavory purposes is more prevalent than ever and we all need to look at what we can do to as a community to help.
As a teenager in the late 1980’s, I would telephone my friends using the wall mounted phone (yes there was no such thing as a mobile phone) if I wanted to talk and share stories, or we’d catch up on the train journey home from school. We’d talk about movies, music, boys of course and school; the same topics most teens talk about today. The difference today is that the vast majority of teenagers now have mobile devices which rarely leave their person.
As a parent, the pressure is on to provide these mobiles devices, in my case initially as a means of being able to ensure my son was safe and contactable. The social pressure on our children from a young age to have the latest form of technology/be on the latest gaming platforms, to fit in with the crowd and be part of the tribe, is immense. To say, don’t give your child a phone/computer is simply not an option in the world they are growing up in.
The catch cry of my teenager is “you need to trust me”. It is not always a simple matter of trust. The under-developed teenage brain and hormones of the teenage years, means the most well behaved and well meaning children can find themselves caught up in online activities beyond their control.
Cyberbullying comes in many forms and our children need to be taught all forms are unacceptable. The stories I have heard recently about children self-harming and the impacts bullying is having on some childhoods are extremely distressing.
Cyberbullying is defined as the use of technology to bully a person or group with intent to hurt then socially, psychologically or even physically. Cyberbullying includes:
- abusive texts and emails
- hurtful messages or images
- imitating others online
- exclusion of others online
- humiliating others online
- nasty online chat.
I know our teachers and schools are doing all they can to educate our children about the risks of online activites. The government is aware of the need to do more. I do not pretend to know what the answer is. But I do know as parents, we need to have open discussions with our children; their friends and family and their schools about the harm cyberbullying can cause. My son knows, through parental nagging I am sure he would say, that there should be nothing on his social media platforms that he does not want his parents to see. Our rule is that there are no phones or computers in the bedroom at nighttime and we do regularly search all social media platforms to see what it going on. Our children know we do this and that is part of the open discussion we have at home.
The difficulty is that most teenagers are more technological savvy than their parents and know how to overcome parental controls. Trust is something that is earned, so for now Eglinton teenager, time for you to hand over your phone so I can have a look and let’s sit down and have a chat.
If you or your children are feeling overwhelmed, please call:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
BeyondBlue 1300 224 636
Suicide call Back Service 1300 659 467
MensLine Australia 1300 789 978
